Monday, 3 November 2008

I'm Not Perfect - Evidently

37 SLEEPS!!!

You know what's really freaking me out lately? I think it's just - insecurity/vulnerability. I've endured an awful lot of change lately. I mean - there's the big one... 110 pounds down after a lifetime of obesity. Granted, it didn't come off overnight - however - getting to a point where people no longer think I'm overweight at all - is REALLY unfamiliar territory for me. I am still overweight by the way - according to the BMI. However, the BMI is always off. So - I've never been here before, and frankly - I'm beginning to understand why I held off for so long... anyway, enough of that talk. I have to live with it I suppose. If I want to be healthy, I must maintain my lifestyle - and I will. It's just really frustrating and disappointing to see how shallow - umm - people (of both sexes) can be. However, there are true gems in my life - who have loved me all along for who I am. I love you my friends. Hugs out to all of you. So, I have to endure the changes that come with that. Then, there's the OTHER big change. Umm, switching my job, country, continent, life is a HUGE change. I like change generally, I find it challenges a person, and helps them to grow. However, with something big like that and the other thing - all kinds of challenges come along with it. Not the least of which - in fact the majority of it - is how other people around you deal with the changes. I'm trying really hard to not allow what other people think/feel affect my life/mood/feelings - however - since I am a people person - how can it be helped? I guess there's no way it can be helped. I've been a bit moody lately - to say the least - and I've been placing judgements on others simply because they have placed judgements on me. I hate that. Why perpetuate the pettiness? It needs to stop. I'm stopping now. If you catch me being petty - slap me please - on the face. Haha, Marsha's totally going to be slapping me tomorrow. Anyway, yeah - I've been under a lot of pressure - on all sides - so be patient with me. I'm flawed - I'm not perfect - contrary to popular opinion. ;-)

I just know Linda's going to find this mug at some store and buy it for me. Haha ;-)

Gosh, I hope they find someone great to replace me at work; however, I need to stop worrying about that. It's not my problem. I just need to train someone and move on. I really need to recognize that I'm moving on and that I don't need to worry about it.

Ok, I think that summarizes my share-able thoughts at the moment. Just thought I'd share. Have a great week.

1 comment:

Paper Propaganda said...

I have so many things to say... look at your weight loss lady!!! You are doing an awesome job!! Your photos look great, I'm very proud of you... oh and i saw your countdown... YOU ARE MOVING TO SCOTLAND!? I'm so jealous!!! Fun place!!!