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Sunday, 30 May 2010

Parental Drama... as per usual


Hello there... I've just spent most of the afternoon and evening napping I'm afraid. This means that I am now wide awake and ready for action, even though it's 10:00 pm. :-S

Ah well, not to worry. I'll just force myself to sleep at midnight. Hopefully that will all work out...

Anyway, update on Dad... He's doing well. The surgery went really well, and the only trouble he had was a bit of low blood pressure afterwards. This is apparently pretty normal for a stent insertion procedure. The reason being - that with the stent in his artery, the blood is able to flow more freely, so there is less pressure. He's ok now though, just really really tired. He didn't get much sleep in the hospital, and I'm guessing that now he's at home with my Alzheimer's suffering Mother, he's still not getting much sleep.

I just had a chat with my Sister, and it sounds an awful lot like Mum is getting worse and worse with her Alzheimer's... she will hear nothing about talk of living wills, or assisted living. This is a source of great frustration for me and my siblings. She's always been that way though - extremely stubborn, and unwilling to hear what other people have to say. Now that she's not at full capacity, it's even worse. I don't know what to say really, except that I moved at the right time. ;-) Just kidding... well sort of kidding. To be honest, I couldn't handle much more of her behaviour while I was there, it gets to you after a while. Plus, I was the one who was there, actually living with them, and keeping an eye on them. So, I got the brunt of most of her attacks. Now, Dad gets it. Debbie and Rich get it too, but they don't live with her - so it's not every day. You can imagine, that living with that every day, and trying to recover from a stroke, and surgery is pretty difficult. I'm afraid Mum isn't going to be the pleasantly confused type of dementia patient. She'll be the kind that we had at the hospital all the time who yells abuse at you, and tells you you're going to hell, because you're a terrible person. Mark my words Geri-Psych nurses - you're in for it. They're used to it though, I suppose. As for me, I've had my share, and it's enough for anyone. I don't know what to say really, except that if she doesn't want to hear what people are suggesting about assisted living, then I'm afraid that eventually, she'll be committed to a geri-psych facility via sectioning. That won't be a pleasant experience for any involved. Maybe I'll have to have a blunt talk with her. It will be slightly easier with me being a million miles away. The only trouble is, you have a blunt talk, and she forgets the whole thing the next day.

A person could go slightly crazy going around in circles like this. There is no clear answer, except to say that she is going to get worse, and we'll just have to see how it goes day to day.

As for me, in my life - I'm good. Life is good. I'll see my boyfriend on Friday. :-) He's wonderful, and normal, and kind. He's highly refreshing after a lifetime like mine. :-) Andy is going for a walk tomorrow for Haitian Appeal... if you can donate, then please do so here... (link)

Have a lovely evening.

Love,
Becky x

2 comments:

Meg said...

Oh Becky! I am glad to hear that your Dad is doing better and to hear that you have a bf (woo-hoo!). However it is quite sad to hear about your mom. Steve and I had both our Grandmother's affected by that disease. It's not easy to watch or to live with. I did live with one of my Grandmas before we put her in the nursing home and also was subject to the attacks. Again I am so sorry, I know to certain extent what it is like.

Des said...

Awww sorry to hear about the stress with your parents.
It must be extremely difficult to deal with. Be patient and be kind.
Its as frustrating for them as it is for you.
Its a good thing you have some distance now though so you can keep your sanity.