Back in the Action - For a Couple of Nights Anyway

Just got back from working some overtime on my old Unit - 71 Urology which I will be doing again tomorrow night. So exciting!!!!! First off, well, if you've read previous posts, you know, I really could use the money, secondly, sometimes I miss the action of the nursing unit. (It's nice to keep my hand in, and tonight, I got right back in the action like old times) Where I work now, I love it, I love the routine, I love my people, I love the clinic in general, and we're busy as well, but working on a nursing unit is a different kind of busy. It's knowing that at any minute things could get crazy and you have to be prepared for anything. So, that was kind of fun. (glad nothing too crazy happened though) I had a very nice compliment on my Unit Clerk skills from a Plastic Surgeon who came to do a consult. I was pleased with that (considering I haven't done it in a year - so humble) I hope they call me more often now that they know I can do the occasional evening. The problem is that as soon as I tell them that they legally are obligated to pay me overtime, they're all - well - umm - no we're not that desperate yet. Anyway, looking forward to tomorrow night.

Observations About Friends

Just got back from dinner with an old friend. We've been friends pretty much since we were 14/15. It's funny, how the friends who are your friends because they sort of drifted into your life - and you hit it off with them - they end up being your friends for life. I've had a LOT of relationships in my life. Some healthy, others most definitely not. There was an entire year there where I lost friend after friend because of some silly falling out or another. One of these though was quite painful as he was my very best friend, and at times I still do consider him my best friend. I pray for him every day whether or not I want to because he was my very best friend for about 6 years and there's a history there you know? Anyway, that was a rough year. But, in my observances in my many many relationships; I've noticed that when I go out of my way to be someone's friend, often that friendship (for me) does not turn out well because it's not a naturally formed one, and usually (as per my nature) it turns out to be someone who needs my help, so I help them, and then they often take advantage of my good nature, and then, it ends badly. You'd think I'd learn by now not to do this, but then - God says that we should love everyone, and help everyone, so I think in my naive way I thought - I'm helping them right? I know it's inconvenient for me, but they need help, so here I am to help. The truth is that if you don't help yourself first, then you can't be of any service to anyone. That is the actual commandment - Thou shalt love thy neighbour - as thyself. This indicates to me that one has to love themselves before they can love others. A lesson that has taken me a VERY long time to learn, and even though I know it now, I still find myself making the same mistakes from time to time. So, back to my observations about friends. My true, closest, best friends...... they've been there pretty much through everything. I have a small handful of people that I can actually put into this category. Every single one of them just appeared in my life one day and we hit it off in a natural, casual way, and now - I know I can turn to them at any time (even with large amounts of time and distance between meetings) and they will be there for me. I'm really, truly grateful to actually know what a true friend is. You know, many people go their whole lives and never find one person that they can truly connect with. It makes me sad to think of anyone missing out on what I've been blessed with - true kindred spirits. I love you my friends - you know who you are.

"Who Can Turn The World On With Her Smile?"

As I sat out on my front porch tonight, covered in 6 layers of clothing to be able to sit out of doors for prolonged periods of time on a semi-cold Canadian Winter Evening; I watched the Total Lunar Eclipse. A rare event, and also one which makes me reflective. I sat out there in the cold, neighbours on their evening walks passing back and forth, Coyotes yelping, and howling in the far distance, and my brother's cat trying desperately to get outside every time my Mum opens the door to see how the eclipse is progressing. Something magical happens as the earth sits exactly between the sun and the moon. All of the animals feel it, and consequently, they start to act a little funny. Maybe it has to do with magnetism, or maybe they just don't like the idea of the moon going dark, I don't know. As I sat out there, I couldn't help but start an open conversation with God, and discuss my life and how it's progressing with him. The last couple of years (as I've mentioned before), I've been going through a huge exodus, and recently, through my learning period, I've learned some things which I really wouldn't be able to progress further without. For this I am grateful, even though the learning process was painful. I really feel like I narrowly escaped something dreadful in the process. But of course, this is how we do learn. At this point, I feel almost like a different person. Today on my walk, I was walking down the street, feeling like Mary Tyler Moore - exuding confidence and thinking "I'm going to make it after all", and really feeling comfortable in my skin for the first time - ever really. After a while, I started to get stares from creepy men, so I thought "Maybe I ought not to exude so much confidence" Sad how we do that to ourselves, a little bit of fear makes us shrink back and think - maybe I should be less than I am. The quotation I have on my blogspot here to the right by Marianne Williamson states that we ought not to listen to those voices but become who we rightfully and truly are. Forget what the world thinks, forget what you have been trained to think of yourself, and see yourself the way that God sees you. If we could all do that, we would be amazed at our potential. I know that we all have divinity inside of us as we are his children whether or not we know it. I hope and I pray that each one of us can see ourselves for who we are and who we can become. If we do that then nothing can stop us. We hear so much negativity in a day; most of it comes from inside our minds - negative self talk. It's something we've been trained to do, but something that we need to overcome if we really want to change ourselves and the world around us. It seems silly, but Stuart Smalley had the right idea - lol - "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonnit, people like me" If you don't get that reference, watch some old episodes of SNL. So, that sums up my thoughts as I watched the lunar eclipse tonight.

Randoms

After my Napstravaganza week-end, I had a pretty fantastic restful sleep last night and am totally feeling rested and revived today. Went to the gym as usual after work, feeling great. I think my body just needed recovery time. (weird, because I never noticed that being a problem in the past with blood donation - 'course it had been 8 years) I'm contemplating signing up for the walk to end Breast Cancer. I don't think I'd have a problem coming up with sponsors for the minimum fund-raising effort of $2000; but the entry fee is $75.00 and I'm kind of impecunious, so that may be a challenge for me. Maybe the next paycheck, we'll see. It's 60 km from one end of the city to the other over 2 days. I totally could do that. I'm a big walker, and I'm in good shape at the moment. So, I think I'm definitely going to do it. Will keep posting as that development progresses. It's the week-end of July 25-27. I'd miss church, but it would be worth it I think. Read a book on the week-end - "The Five Love Languages". Extremely helpful in understanding my relationships better. I won't tell the world what my love language is, I'd rather people found that out themselves by getting to know me better, but it's pretty cool to understand myself and my family members better and how I can improve relationships. Have now moved onto a totally different subject in my reading - "The PCOS Diet Book". Learning what I can and can't eat and what will help overall with my condition. So far, it's really interesting, but pretty much what I expected as far as what to eat is concerned. There's certain things, like Broccoli, Cauliflower, Cabbage, etc that will help with very specific symptoms of PCOS which I'm definitely going to be incorporating to my diet. Well, that's all I have to blog about today. Random bits, nothing interesting really. Oh, I just thought of something else, heehee, today my co-worker and I were taking our daily walk - just on Stephen Ave to Winners and the Book Store and back. Well, have you ever noticed in a busy crowded street, if you don't move, people will mow you right over? Well, Shawna and I got pretty sick of having to move for the busy people today, and decided to start playing chicken with the pedestrians. One lady actually side stepped between us, but refused to move around us. It was hilarious. So, on the way back, we see a couple of cops coming towards us and I'm all (under my breath) Shawna, lets play chicken with the cops. So, they're coming towards us, and one of them is all - "Becky!" I'm all "oh, I know one of them" Turns out it was the husband of one of my friends I grew up with. Hee hee, Shawna and I were killing ourselves laughing after that. I'm all "hi, how's the wife, how many kids do you guys have now? 4, wow, that's amazing" So much for chicken with the cops.

There Seems To Be A Sale On Naps

I cannot believe how tired I've been over the last 3 or 4 days. It seems like I need a nap every half hour or so. I haven't changed anything I'm eating (not really), granted, I haven't really found time for exercise this week-end. (mostly because of my nap time), I'm not depressed or anything, I'm really happy. My only conclusion that I can come to is that giving a pint of blood took more out of me than I realized. I'm totally wiped out; it is rididculous. Has anyone else had an experience like this where giving blood made them tired for like - a week?

Lessons from the Primary Kids

So, there I was in Primary (church for the young 'uns) today with my class, and this kid behind me starts telling all the girls that they're pretty. They all blush, and giggle, and scooch a little farther away from him. I'm laughing and thinking - that's one smart kid. He then started goofing off and told his buddy, the hot-headed one with the red hair that he was pretty and cute. LOL!!! I was killing myself at this point. The red-headed kid was not so much laughing, but freaked out and actually acted out violently against the cute kid with the free-wheeling compliments. Now, what does this say about us as a society in general when even at a young age of 9 or 10, it's instilled in kids to hate someone (even though buddy was joking around) just because they say that they think someone's cute who's the same sex as you. Heck, girls do it all the time (not in a lesbian way), I can't go anywhere without one of my girlfriends saying "oh, you look pretty today" or "you look really good Becky". This is behavior we've adopted from a young age. But, when a guy says to another guy (even though the kid was joking) that they're looking alright, it's considered unmanly and they are shunned for it, or labled as a homosexual. Like it or not, there are many people in our society who have chosen to live the homosexual lifestyle, and whether or not you agree with that, you must be tolerant and respect them for who they are. I myself, being a very religious person am not in agreement with the HS lifestyle, but, I absolutely love and adore my friends who have chosen to swing that way. I have plenty of friends who are gay, and love each one of them for who they are. They know how I feel about it, but also know that it doesn't change the way I feel about them. Anyway, pretty sad when kids this young are already violently reacting to any sort of reference (even a joke) about it. I suppose it is in the nature of the natural man to hate like that. The whole purpose of coming to earth is to overcome the natural man, and to become a spiritual being so that we can become more like God. That includes being tolerant and loving to ALL your brothers and sisters whether or not you agree with them.

Running in Reykjavik

So, I just wanted to put my plug in for my friend - Natalie Siu, who is running for the Canadian Diabetes Association in Reykjavik, Iceland in the summer. She and I both work at the DHCC, and see the effects of Diabetes on a daily basis. As I think I've mentioned before, 300 Albertans are diagnosed with Diabetes every WEEK. That's an awful lot of people, and an insane growth rate. (who knows if you're not next - anybody could be next) There must be something in the water, or maybe it has something to do with our ridiculous lack of funding for Health Care in this province. Personally, I think more needs to be done to prevent this, and to educate the general public about how they can prevent the onset of diabetes. I certainly am at risk - being a PCOS sufferer, but am doing everything I can to prevent the big D. So, in order to provide more funding for more research into how we can tackle the problem, Natalie is running for the CDA this summer. She needs an awful lot of sponsors to do so, so in order to help her with her goal, I thought I'd post her website where people can donate to her campaign. It is found at http://www.nataliesiu.com/ Go there, read her blog and story, and give generously if you can. Much appreciation and hugs and kisses all around.