Monday, 8 December 2008

It's A Freaking Roller Coaster

Why do women have so many emotions? Gosh, I feel like some sort of roller-coaster ride. I mean - overall, I'm excited, I'm nervous, and eager to get on; but, the last few days it's been a bit of sadness combined with nostalgia, and melancholy. I mean - there we were tonight, driving in the Deep Snow - Me, Mum, Dad, and James to Okotoks for my final family dinner; and Bing Crosby came on the radio singing "White Christmas". I turned it up and started singing it out loud. I asked James - do you remember? He did. We used to play the Bing Crosby record over and over again lying underneath the tree and looking up at all the lights. Some good memories of Christmas past. I got all teary, and I WAS THE DRIVER!!! Haha. My family was fearing for their lives at that point. We made it though - safe and sound. However, it's been like that for the last little bit. My last day at work - clearing out my desk - where I will never return, walking away from the building for the last time, sauntering down 17th Avenue for the last time, eating a Crave Cupcake for the last time (just 1), taking the train home from work for the last time, just generally being in downtown Calgary for the last time. Everything seems to bring a tear of nostalgia to my eyes. You've seen me complain over and over about how much Calgary has changed, and really, it has - so much. But, there are still glimpses of the old Calgary - the one I call my home. Also, there are the people. I have so many friends that are dear to my heart in this city. I've had the privilege of having some of the best friends on the planet. How I will miss each one. However, there are new friends to be made, and new adventures to be had. I'm eager to get on with it, but I'm also a little nervous. For some reason, when I'm in a new place amongst new people who don't know who I am, I get quiet, and nervous, and then I blurt out weird obnoxiously opinionated things. Haha, it must be some sort of nervous tick. Though, I do have one very good friend - who knows who I am - so hopefully he will help in my getting over that. Today was my last Sunday in the Somerset Ward at Church. My parents - both of them - got up to bear their testimonies. This is something we do once a month in our church, on the first Sunday of the month where the pulpit is open, and anyone in the congregation can get up and share their feelings - hopefully about Christ - that's the idea anyway. Most of the time, it has to do with a person's life and learning experiences that have brought them closer to him, and helped them to grow. So, Mum got up and shared her feelings, then told the entire congregation that she was proud of me for doing what I'm doing. TEARS!!! As most of you know, she hasn't been my number 1 supporter in this thing all along. Then Dad got up, and shared a story from my youth of a Christmas when my family shared a hamper with a less fortunate family. It was the 80's, we were all dirt poor, but one Christmas, the people of the church gave us a Christmas hamper. We were sort of ok, but this family were worse off, so we took it over there. TEARS!!! Just the memory of that, and also just hearing Dad tell a story that wasn't full of the blarney, but honest and simple made me a bit emotional. I love my parents. They make me crazy at the best of times, but I love them. They really have sacrificed so much - in love - for their children. Each one of us have been blessed beyond what we can comprehend because of their sacrifices for us. Then, I got up in Relief Society; (a meeting where the women get together and learn from one another) and shared my feelings in a testimony as well. TEARS!!! I remember the day I decided to move to Scotland. I went to God, and I said - this is what I want to do. His response was simple, he approved, and he promised to help me do everything in my power to make it happen. Magical things happen when your will comes in line with his will. He has made it happen. I have done it under his direction, and he has helped me. So, here it is - a little over 48 hours, and I will be on a plane, and ready to leave Calgary. It is good to know that I have divine help in this matter. It's the only thing keeping me strong enough to do it.

Dinner tonight was lovely. Full of political banter - as usual - but lovely. My family is crazy, but they are my family. I can't ask for more than that. Here's a few pics from some of my goodbye moments this week...

Me and Geneva at one of our favorite places on earth - Momma Fidela's - for dinner.

Me with my Vincey and Fidela. They have promised that they will visit - when they can. How I'll miss them both.

Meaghann and Cali came into the city to have lunch with me. It was the first time I had seen Cali, and she's now 18 months!!! That was a lovely outing.

Minty and Moose the "Olde English Bulldog" came to the house for a visit. Again - first visit with Moose - who's Registered name includes the term "Fat Bastard" - ah, only Minty. Anyway, Moosey wouldn't sit still for a picture, he was too excited, so this was the best I got, and then my camera battery died. Pretty cool pic though, eh?

On Wednesday, the girls at work and I went out to lunch at "Farm" - great restaurant on 17th Avenue - run by Janice Beaton's cheese!!! It was really good, except that they forgot Lori's food. :$ How I'll miss the girls.

Marsha and I at the end of the table. Yes, that's just a bit of lemon in my glass. :) I'll miss you Marsha.

Angelique and I had our visit at our favorite bookstore stomping grounds. It made for a great Saturday. Thanks for being such a great friend Angelique.

Me and my biggest fan. This was taken earlier on this evening. It's been a bit hard for Chloe to understand why I'm leaving her. :(

Me with 3 of my 4 teenage nephews. They make me feel so small. I once held each one of them as a babe in my arms. Hard to imagine that now - looking at them growing up.

Me with my baby brother. I love you James. I hope you know that.

So, that's all I've got up to now for farewell pictures. I don't know when I'll post again. I'll try to post again before I leave, but may not be able to. If not, it won't be long after my arrival in my new city. Stay tuned...


Angelique said...


Not goodbye but see you soon :)

Little miss crazy said...

Oh your post made me cry today! I can so relate to your emotinal rollercoaster!!! When I was 19 I married a English Soldier who was posted to Canada for a year. I had only known him for 6 months when we were married and 3 weeks after that I was on a plane to England. It was so exciting and new and what a adventure, but I was unprepared for what the last few days before I left would bring with all the family dinners and goodbyes. It was hard. Then I went through it again when we moved back to Canada this time it was harder because we had a baby by that point. It was all worth it though!!!!!
I wish you the best of luck in your new adventure, and I am a little jeoulous. I look forward to your new post from Scotland!

kaly said...

Been thinking of you the last few days and hoping that everything is going smoothly. I hope the flight was well. I hope you are okay. I hope you are safe. I hope you feel welcome in your new home.
Love you, Becky!