I'm Slightly Alarmed!!!

Oh my giddy freaking aunt!!!!!!!

I just weighed myself - and I'm going to reveal to you - just what the scale said - brace yourselves!!!!!!!

189 pounds

that's right - 189!!!!

Granted, I'm just coming off of the monthlies, so am probably retaining water (too much information, but you women understand and need to know these things), and am pretty muscular from the hill walking, but I am DEFINITELY feeling slightly more flabby. Ok, a lot more flabby, and also - my trousers are tighter, and my underwear too. What to do? What to do?

Ok, determination time. I am making a determination.

To determine to do something means - to decide. I have determined to...

Eat chocolate - only once a week - on a Friday - set day so that I don't forget whether or not I have had it that week. Also, only a small amount - and dark.

Do Yoga - every single day. That's right - every day. It doesn't have to be the hour long session, but the hour long should be done 3 times a week.

I will find a meal replacement, and replace my evening meal with it. A good quality one with lots of protein, and fibre, and good nutrients. I know meal replacements are not the natural way of doing things, but they can be helpful - especially when the situation is this dire.

No more of the fancy cheeses that I've been eating. Just because cheese is cheap in this country, it doesn't mean I have to eat it every single day. Ok, limiting my cheese intake to like - 3 slices a day.

Sugar - it's the devil. I've been noticing that I've been getting headaches - every time I eat sugar. I'm concerned that I'm sliding along on the border of Diabetes. It's quite possible for someone with my condition. They're connected. I need to lessen my refined sugar intake. Only Honey from here on in, and even then, not that much. Honey is good, and I SWEAR, it is the only thing preventing this cold from really taking a hold over me. No more devil sugar. Though, EVERY SINGLE THING in this country has added sugar in it, and the sweeteners without sugar in them are carcinogenic. They use some which are banned in Canada. Sigh, you really can't win. So, candy (even the ginger - sigh) is out. I'm going to the sink this very minute, and pouring out my remaining Ginger Beer. Gaaaaaaahhh!!!!

Right, that's done - egats that was hard, but I feel better. Yes, sugar is a definite culprit for this weight gain. Oh my?!?! What will I do when Brian gives me candy to eat through church next time? I shall have to hide it, and not eat it, and hand it over to a friend after. Steve, you will now be eating all of my Brian candy. Don't tell Brian.

Still hill walking to and from work - so will have to eat something substantial - like almonds, and something with fibre in it before I begin my trek home. Then when I get home, I shall eat my meal replacement. Hopefully I can find a good one.

That's the initial plan for determinations - that's a lot to begin with, so - we'll start there. Best to start with a few things.

Hold me to it. Check up on me. PLEASE.

Thanks

Ginger Deficiency?

I'm not going to begin every single posting with - "Sorry I haven't posted in a while", though, it seems like I feel like I have to say it every time. So, I'm not going to apologize - I live, I get busy, life takes over. I shall post whenever I can, and whenever it strikes my fancy.

I've noticed lately that I have been eating an awful lot of ginger-based foods. I think perhaps my body has a deficiency in ginger. At least, that's what it seems like. I just really like it. I've been ingesting...

Old Jamaica Ginger Beer...



Nairn's Stem Ginger Oat Biscuits...



Duerr's Ginger Chunky Preserve...



Lipton's Warming Lemon and Ginger Tea...



and last but definitely not least,
Crystallized Ginger...



What the heck do you think is going on with me? Do I really like Ginger that much? or is there some crazy psychological, or maybe chemical reason why I am drawn to all foods with ginger in it? It is a very strong taste, that is certain. It's refreshing, and reviving, and it clears out all taste of anything else you ate previously. I have no idea, but I don't see it ending any time soon. I am addicted to the Ginger Preserve on my toast every morning if nothing else. It is soooo good. So so good. I am missing "The Ginger People"'s Candied Baby Ginger. The Candied Ginger at the Tesco is not quite as good. I found "The Ginger People"'s Peanut Ginger Candies, and while they were good, they were not quite Gingery enough. I thoroughly enjoyed the Peanut addition though.

Comments? Thoughts?

On a side note, I haven't been eating any pickled Asparagus. I don't think they believe in pickling Asparagus in this country. Pity.

Sunday Thoughts

Sorry I haven't been a very good blogger lately. You know, I usually only write when something inspires me. Haha, evidently something inspired me earlier on in the week. However, I haven't forgotten you my friends. I've been thinking about what to share. I've noticed that I haven't really spent a lot of time on the important things lately. It's so easy to get caught up in time-consuming things like facebook, and you-tubing. I need to read more books (like I used to). I haven't read an entire book since I stepped off the plane into my new country. But, on a positive note, some of that you-tubing lead me to this...



Many of you know that I am a devout follower of my faith - that being The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (or Mormons). I have found that I've been a bit out of touch with my spiritual side as late, and as a loving Heavenly Father does, my God has lead me back to where I ought to be, and where I feel happiest. That's kind of how life goes though, isn't it? You have good moments and bad moments. Well, I suppose you could say that at the moment (this moment) I'm having a good one. I'm grateful to feel the guidance of my God in my life. I suppose it does help as well that it's a Sunday, and I went to church, and renewed myself for another week. However, finding this official channel of the church on You-tube was helpful as well. They are just simple messages, but they are important messages for finding hope and strength to carry on in life, and not allow one's self to be pulled into despair. It's so easy at this point in time to be pulled into despair - what with the state of the world and it's economy, people losing jobs, struggling to make ends meet (that's another thing that's been on my mind). It's just hard times overall. But, if we can look deep inside of ourselves and see our own divinity, and our ability to make something out of nothing, I think we will find the hope to carry on. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's really what makes me who I am, so it's actually quite important.

Here's one message that I found quite touching from my favorite - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. You may have actually seen parts of this talk before on my blog, but this is a short summary of what he said with some touching music and images. It reminds me of who I am...



Hope you enjoy it. Have a great week.

The Sexual Revolution Has Ruined My Life...

... and the lives of many others like me. Gloria Steinem, thy name is sabotage. Call me old fashioned, but I'm not a fan of all of the so-called "freedoms" that the feminist movement has brought about. For instance - dating - or relationships...

Who the hell knows what they're even doing anymore? Women apparently have become on a par with men, and they play "the game" now - destroying the self esteem of men who normally are quite good-ish. These men then go out thinking that they have to play some sort of game in order to get women to like them. Apparently there are women out there who do like this game. I on the other hand abhor it - and everything to do with it. Call me old fashioned, but when I like someone romantically, I treat them well, I do nice things for them, I spend time with them, I might even write them lovely messages. Some people consider this behavior - seemingly desperate. I think that is THE MOST PREPOSTEROUS THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. Those who see it that way, are clearly lacking self-esteem in that they think there is something wrong with someone if they like them that much. I mean think of it - if you like someone, should you not be kind to them, and do nice things for them, and spend time with them? Hell, that's what I do. Apparently that's the wrong thing to do. Apparently, I should be cold and cruel, and distant. But, sorry, I'm going to keep on doing it the way I've always done it, because frankly, I don't have it in me to deceive or to play with people's hearts at will. If someone does that with me, I'm just going to walk away and disappear from their lives, because I reaaaallllllly can't take it.

Then there's this matter of defining relationships - who is to be the one to make the first move? Who is going to break the wall of uncertainty? Again, call me old fashioned, but I certainly think it is not up to me. Men - BE MEN - take control of the situation and do what you ought to do. Choose A girl - not 5, and say something like this - "I like you - and I want you to be my girlfriend" preferably with flowers or candy or the like. If you are rejected, then clearly - you chose the wrong girl. If women are turned off by this forward gesture, then there is clearly something wrong with them - mentally. OR - they are just not interested, and cruel enough to not say so, but say something stupid like - "we'll see" Again, mentally challenged woman. If someone is not interested, they should just say - sorry I'm not interested, and not prolong the pain. I hate what women like that have done to men. They have destroyed their self-esteem so badly that women like me - who are sooooooo worth the effort can't get anywhere with them. I HATE YOU - PLAYER WOMEN - thy name is destruction.

You know, for someone who only ever heard what a terrible person they were growing up (actually heard the words "you're a terrible person" and much worse), I've come a long way. It's been an uphill battle all of the way, but here I am, I'm strong, I'm free, and I'm standing on my own two feet - able to say clearly that I am not going to put up with any BS anymore - from anybody. So, men - if you are interested, please do not treat me like dirt - you will get ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. If you really are interested, then you have to woo me, the old fashioned way - with flowers and time spent, and touching (but I mean, don't touch me if you've just met me - that's just weird). I will reveal to the world - right now - my love language is physical touch. There - it's out there - so because people in the world are so weird about touching, my love language has not been fulfilled properly - not in a very long time.... I know that sounds sad, but it's true. She who has a permanent smile on her face is often very sad indeed. I was in love once. I mean - real in love - not this infatuation that people call "in love". I once gave someone my whole heart. I shouldn't have really, because though it was requited, it was not acknowledged publicly as so, and in the end it burned me badly. So much so, that I cried constantly for a month when it was over. But, I healed from that - with help from my God. I've healed from many things with help from God. People don't believe me that it's possible to heal from something like that, but it is - I'm a witness.

Anyway, long story short - people should be kind to each other if they like each other. They should seek to spend time with each other, and give - in whatever way they can. It makes no sense to hurt someone you love - as often as that does happen. I'm not saying I've never hurt anybody I love, I'm just saying, I have never intentionally done so. Nor will I - ever.

"Fight or Flight", Hills, and My Massive Thunder Thighs...

I think this is my problem...

http://www.advance-health.com/cortisol.html

It's either cortisol over-production, due to the "fight or flight" response being overactive; or mass muscle growth, combined with other hormonal imbalances. Freaking Hormones...

Men have it so easy, all they have to do is eat less and exercise. With us, it's some sort of battle, it's like - our bodies want us to retain fat. Likely they do. Something about reproduction or the like. I think all of the mass hill walking I'm doing to and from work every day combined with my slightly increased appetite (normal food, just increased slightly) has made it extra difficult for me to lose weight, and in fact, I am gaining it. Gaaah!!!! I mean, I'm not giving up the hill walking. I love my therapeutic walks to and from work, and being a Dundonian and all of that. I love it. Plus, eventually, it has to work in my favor right? I mean, I feel great otherwise... just heavy. Why does it always have to be an uphill battle for me? Right, just venting, but as you can see, (at the right) I've decided to ignore my scale. I suppose I shall have to live with my thunder thighs for now. My trousers are tighter and everything. I would take a picture, but I'm sure you don't want to see my huge tree-trunk thighs. Remember when I was biking 40 km to and from work? That didn't last long either, mainly because of the same reason - concern that if I continued, I might develop massive thighs. Well, I'm not giving up my hills. It's healthy, it's cheap travel (free travel), and it's therapeutic. So, I suppose I shall have to learn to live with it and stop complaining.

Perhaps I should take the perspective of this Nike ad on...

Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies, ABBA, and Moshpits of One

*UNHEALTHY FOOD WARNING*

What do these three things have in common - you're asking yourself? Haha. Tonight I re-enacted a tradition that has been carried on for - oh - about 18 years or so...

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
(MADE FAMOUS BY BECKY AND ANGEL WHILST MOSHING TO ABBA)

Technically, you can't mosh with 2 people, but we tried anyway. Since I did not have my best friend here to mosh with, I tried it out on my own whilst listening to Abba. It pretty much was just me jumping up and down. For those of you who are either too young or too old to know what moshing is, it was something we did in the '90s - where large groups of young people would gather and listen to loud, obnoxious grunge rock music and bash about at random - pretty much beating each other up on the dance floor. I think Angel and I just realy enjoyed the pushing about and bashing bit. (crazy kids) For some reason, we always chose to bake our famous Chocolate Chip Cookies and listen to Abba whilst doing so. As I am typing this, I am still listening to Abba. Ah, good memories; the simplicity of youth. I bet nobody in the entire world has that sort of tradition. That's special - that is. I bet she continues on the tradition - even now - with her kids. I shall have to ask her later. The recipe is simple, and NOT healthy, but the secret is - MILK chocolate chips. You can use whatever chips you want, but tradition calls for Milk. If you have a mother that grew up during World War 2 and rationing, then you may have an entire freezer full of Milk Chocolate Chips - simply because she can. Sometimes we wouldn't even make the cookies, but go to the freezer - where we were absolutely certain to find them and eat whole bags of Chipits Milk Chocolate Chips. (this is likely how I wound up at 270 lbs) The best part was that Mum always thought she was being so sneaky - hiding them in the freezer, when we always knew they were there, and ate them all the time. So fun.

Anyway, here is the sacred recipe. I now share it with the world to enjoy and mosh and listen to Abba at will...

1 Cup Butter
1 Cup Brown Sugar
½ Cup White Sugar
2 Eggs
2 tsp Vanilla
1 tsp Baking Soda
½ tsp Salt
2 ¼ Cup Flour
1 Bag of Chipits Milk Chocolate Chips (I obviously couldn't get chipits, so I used Dr. Oetker - :( )

Cream Butter and Sugars together
Add Eggs and Vanilla – mix well
Add Soda and Salt – mix well
Add Flour and thoroughly blend
Fold in Chips

Drop 1 inch bits of batter on an ungreased baking sheet
Bake at 350 ° Fahrenheit (or 175 degrees celsius) for 10 minutes
Let cool on cooling rack. Cookies will settle down as they cool.

Eat and Share :-)
Then Mosh to Abba.

Makes 2 and a half dozen.

Oh don't you worry, I won't be eating them all myself, I'll probably take them to church tomorrow and try to push most of them on my friends. It was just the tradition I was looking for really. Though, the batter was so very very tasty in bits.

*AMENDMENT* - Angel would like me to point out that it was all in the mixing. We often noted that. (it was her job - haha - that's evidently why I forgot)

Other news - I found candied ginger - finally!!!! They hide it in the baked goods section at Tesco's. Imagine, a candy as wonderful as crystallized ginger - hidden away in the corner at baked goods. Oh how happy it made me to find it. Also, after 8 weeks of waiting, 3 of my 6 boxes which I sent arrived today. I still have 24 more to send off to myself, but I'll get them - one at a time.

Happy Robbie Burns Day!!!

AE FOND KISS

by: Robert Burns (1759-1796)

Ae fond kiss, and then we sever;
Ae farewell, alas, for ever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee!

Who shall say that Fortune grieves him
While the star of hope she leaves him?
Me, nae cheerfu' twinkle lights me,
Dark despair around benights me.

I'll ne'er blame my partial fancy;
Naething could resist my Nancy;
But to see her was to love her,
Love but her, and love for ever.

Had we never loved sae kindly,
Had we never loved sae blindly,
Never met--or never parted,
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.

Fare thee weel, thou first and fairest!
Fare thee weel, thou best and dearest!
Thine be ilka joy and treasure,
Peace, enjoyment, love, and pleasure!

Ae fond kiss, and then we sever!
Ae farewell, alas, for ever!
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee!

BANNOCKBURN

by: Robert Burns (1759-1796)

At Bannockburn the English lay,--
The Scots they were na far away,
But waited for the break o' day
That glinted in the east.

But soon the sun broke through the heath
And lighted up that field of death,
When Bruce, wi' saul-inspiring breath,
His heralds thus addressed:--

"Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled--
Scots, wham Bruce has aften led--
Welcome to your gory bed.
Or to victorie!

"Now's the day, and now's the hour;
See the front o' battle lower;
See approach proud Edward's power--
Chains and slaverie!

"Wha will be a traitor knave?
Wha can fill a coward's grave?
Wha sae base as be a slave?
Let him turn and flee!

"Wha for Scotland's king and law
Freedom's sword will strongly draw,
Freeman stand or freeman fa'--
Let him follow me!

"By Oppression's woes and pains!
By your sons in servile chains!
We will drain our dearest veins,
But they shall be free!

"Lay the proud usurpers low!
Tyrants fall in every foe!
Liberty's in every blow!
Let us do or die!"

And who could forget...

AULD LANG SYNE

by: Robert Burns (1759-1796)

Chorus

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!

I

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to min'?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

II

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

III

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd monie a weary foot
Sin' auld lang syne.

IV

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
Frae mornin sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne.

V

And here's a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o' thine,
And we'll take a right quid-willie waught,
For auld lang syne!

Chorus

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

On the 250th anniversary of his birth, I celebrate Robbie Burns Day. Ah Robbie Burns, national poet of Scotland. How your words have touched so many through the years. I love Robbie Burns - he is such a romantic really. I mean, the man really loved women - a lot of women, and had oodles of children to prove it. You might call him the romantic, poetry writing, slightly less sexist James Bond. Ah Robbie, a lover, not a fighter - however he was a true Scotsman - which you can see clearly in the above poem - Bannockburn. He has fueled the fire of Scotland in reclaiming it's sense of individuality from years of English oppression. I say that as an English person. However, I am a Scot too, (and Irish) so I feel it. Who wouldn't feel for the plight of Scotland regardless of their lineage.

So, in honor of the romantic Mr. Burns, I ate haggis. That's about the only traditional thing I did today (besides reading poetry). It wasn't even real haggis, but the Vegetarian variety. I had an opportunity to go to a Burns Supper on Friday but missed it - due to mismanagement of time. :-( It's ok though. My makeshift "Becky version" Burns Supper consisted of...



Hall's Vegetarian Haggis. I could have made my own, I found a recipe to do so, but it was just a lot less hassle to use a ready made store bought one. It was dead tasty too.





All cooked up (in the microwave - that's right) and ready to eat. Mmmm.

Dinner also consisted of...



Every type of veggie I had left in my fridge that I was concerned might go bad if I didn't use. I then covered it in the leftover peanut sauce that I mixed up last night for my Peanut Noodles dinner. (another JVR recipe)



The finished meal - leftover veg covered in peanut sauce, vegetarian haggis, and Black Current Squash - makes for a tasty, simple, Beck-ified Burns Supper. Hope you all have a lovely Robbie Burns Day yourselves. :-)